|Luella and Charles. The Results are In. They are 98% Human. The Mysterious Remainder Explains Their Children|
My sister Kim purchased DNA kits as Christmas gifts for our parents. I spent the better part of an hour and two day's worth of patience one evening after the new year harvesting their DNA by getting them to spit into tiny vials. It wasn't an easy task for either of them. The first few attempts resulted in dust; Charles is 80. Luella is 77. I think the problem they had generating enough saliva for the test can be attributed to the drying out process associated with advanced age. It gives a new meaning to old and leathery :)
Watching Luella was particularly amusing. She pulled every available ounce of moisture from her lungs without the aide of her false teeth (kept on the snack stand beside her chair for when company drops by). Without that scaffolding, a dribble or two would make it into the container, the rest down her blouse. The effort would be followed by her saying she just couldn't do any more. It was asking for too much. A look of complete exhaustion followed every particle of spittle making it seem like she was bleeding out.
Getting dad's sample was just as exhausting. I was grateful Luella had the volumn on her TV at full blast (yet she claims her hearing is just fine). It masked the guttural sounds they were making - the same sounds made by kids as they dredge up enough snot for a good sized loogie.
One the harvesting of DNA was complete, I sealed the samples for dad to take to the post office for mailing. It was then a just a matter of waiting for the results.
|Great Grandpa and Grandma Ug. Was it what you expected? Too bad Great Grandma's considerable chompers didn't get passed down the DNA Line. It would have saved Luella a fortune in dentures.|
Luella Mattson Williamson