Here, gathered in our beloved South Dakota, are a few members of our Williamson / Mattson Clan. Charles and Luella are to be blamed (be kind, they didn't know what they were doing). We're generally a happy bunch and somewhat intelligent (notwithstanding our tenuous grasp on reality). I'm also proud to say that most of us still have our teeth.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Family Additions to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving Eve

From the Fortress of Solitude
Pleasant Grove,

Hello All,
Members or our American Dynasty are gathering from all parts of the nation to celebrate Thanksgiving. Many members of our extended family will be feasting at the home of Autumn and Derek Turley in American Fork. There are rumors 50 will be in attendance. Some think Autumn and Derek fools for surrendering their home to this Clan gathering. Others think them brave. I'm told Derek is on the phone right now as I type this post increasing the value of his home owners insurance to cover damaged sheet rock, furniture, windows, tile and paintwork. Derek is a wise man indeed.

Earlier today anyone shopping at Winco would have seen me artfully navigating the isles in search of cranberries, soda and cups. I faced a serious moral dilemma when faced with two different brands of cranberries. On my left were the Wyinco generic cranberries. On my right cans of Ocean Spray cranberries. The generic cranberries were 0.65 cents a can. The Ocean Spray cranberries were $1.15 a can. What was I to do? Normally I wouldn't give it a second thought - generic it would be.

My conscious got the best of me as I reached for the 'cheap' cans. I wondered what the crowd of 50 at our Thanksgiving feast would think of my decision. I pondered my choices for a few minutes and settled on a plan of action. Instead of bringing the unopened cans - evidence of my thriftiness (a good character trait but easily misunderstood for stinginess), I could open the cans at home, empty the contents into bowls, and take them that way to Autumn's home. Who would be the wiser? On the other hand, the extra effort at decanning and preparing would be suspected by those who know me best.

"What are you hiding?" would be Jilane's question.

"Why would you go to the effort of opening the cans and bringing them in bowls," Janice would chime in.

"You, didn't...... did you?" would be Luella's shocking revelation.

A quiet would fall over the 50 gathered guests. Gasps of horror and contempt at my attempt to pass generic cranberries as brand named Ocean Spray would echo through the great room. It would be as if I was trying to pass dog food as pâté. My punishment would be a plate at the child's table. Never again would I be allowed to shop for family gatherings unchaperoned.

I put the generic cans down, swallowed at the price difference, and picked up 8 cans of Ocean Spray Cranberries. I hope they are all proud of my sacrifice. I will not be quietly bringing my contributions to the table unannounced. I will wait for all the quests to arrive and a lull in the conversation before pulling the Wynco bag out from under my chair.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Here are the CRANBERRIES," I'll say with much bravado, expecting applause and well deserved credit for not going cheap.

Thanksgiving Eve find our families grateful for new additions to our family tree. Our American Dynasty continues to grow and expand.

Welcome Kellen Scott Tolley to your extended family

Kellen is the newborn son of Nicole Burrows and Brady Tolley. Baby and mother are doing fine. The Tolley family live in Colorado.

Welcome Naomi Costa to your extended family

Naomi is the newborn daughter of Ashley Delgrosso and Mike Costa. They live in Utah.

Welcome Jessica Bare to our extended family

Brayden Bodily, son of Jilane Williamson and Kevin Bodily married Jessica Bare. They are both students at Utah Valley University and live in Eagle Mountain, Utah.

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